This must be the work of an enemy Stand! - Let's Play JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: The 7th Stand User

<= Previous | Top | =To Be Continued=>

After setting a Frenchman on fire and bloodletting him afterwards, Cascada and friends head to Hong Kong harbor to charter a ship that won’t put innocent lives at risk when Dio’s minions inevitably attack.


Polnareff is sitting pensively here, and can’t join us this time. Nursing his pride, I imagine.

There’s a new Pink Dark Boy on the shelf.

PDB:

There exists an item in this world called a Badge of Honor. This badge is proof of your experience as a gamer. Use it, and it can have all kinds of helpful effects. However, if you save them up for the end of the game, you might be able to unlock some special extras… the choice is yours.

If you aren’t some kind of F-Mega savant, this is the first zone where you can get a Badge of Honor. We’ll circle back around to this later.

The Harbor’s a relatively small map, donut shaped around a central market building. The Inn here is in the southeast (bottom right) corner.

look game you gotta leave me some stuff to explain okay

We worked up one hell of an appetite alternating between shooting lightning at Polnareff and dousing our entire body in healing ointment. Time to hit the restaurant.

Cascada: Hey Steel, what should I order?
Steel: So you’ve finally reached the harbor. Now you can properly begin your journey to Cairo. But traveling by sea means there are few opportunities to stock up on supplies. I’d take this chance to buy anything you think you might need later. Why don’t you bring a friend?
Cascada: …not what I asked?
Steel: PRERECORDED MESSAGE

Puff-puff pastry not on the menu then, I guess.

There used to be a restaurant where I grew up that was carhop themed. All the waitresses (and there were only waitresses) moved around on roller skates and wore really short, frilly skirts. I hadn’t hit puberty yet so I was more interested in the waiting table that had Pac-Man built into it.


Will do, Student.

The menu is a bit bizarre. Espresso and dry curry? Paella in Hong Kong??

This is most likely referring to Japanese-style dry curry, which is basically a stir-fry with curry powder served over rice. When I see “dry curry” though, my mind goes straight to rendang.

Jotaro’s sitting over on the left there, probably crushing a plate of curry. Think he gets super spicy curry or the like, honey-and-apples sweet curry?

Jotaro: …Cascada. What’s up?
Cascada: You read Jump before we left? Just thinkin’ about how crazy it is that Piccolo’s going to train Gohan…

Jotaro: …What a pain.
Cascada: It’s okay, you can finish your lunch first.
Jotaro: -double fisting spoons- ORAORAORAORA

Starting from the Harbor, we can hang out with the rest of the squad! We can only walk with one at a time, unfortunately.

I switch Cascada back to Flee. Defense Mode has served its purpose for now.

Green Hornet encounters are still scattered about. So are Burns, though now they come in packs of three instead of solo.

Hey, we’re looking for a charter ship! Weird coincidence!


I hate these guys. They’re a huge jump up in danger from the Martial Artists, presumably to offset you most likely having another party member, and can jump after you even faster.

Cascada: Give 'em The Hose!

Cascada: Goddammit!

I’d like to say that they have pretty high evasion, but it’s actually just that Quicksilver has low hit rates.

This attack hits all party members. This is over a third of Jotaro’s current health, a bit over a quarter of Cascada’s, and I end up in some real close calls because of it.

As one might expect, Jotaro is a close range killer. He’s fast, hits like a freight train, and has a high crit chance with his basic attack… but the second an enemy steps out of Short range, he might as well be throwing paper airplanes.

The 7-11 sells the same old shit, and there’s a Recycle Shop in case we need to unload anything. I am, unfortunately, a perpetual item hoarder. What if I need those 15 servings of tea later?

Had to keep this wacky shot in. Early in Part 3’s run, Star Platinum’s powers were pretty ill-defined (remember the whole photo thing?) and included stretching out its fingers to sword length. It goes unremarked upon for the entire rest of the series (though the anime put it in again way later). In 7SU, it serves a valuable role as Jotaro’s only M-range attack.

In addition to the Burns, there’s a new type of autonomous Stand roaming the map.

They are, naturally, a bit more dangerous, but a single Thunder Beam from Cascada wipes them with no questions asked. Prime grinding fodder.

Yeah, working alone can get kinda depressing.

We walk past him to the harbor branch of the Congee and Hot Cola Stand to heal up, but on the way back out of the alley…





Cascada: ! Look over there!
Jotaro: …They’ve probably been hired by Dio. Give me a @#S% break…

These guys only jump you if you’re walking around with Jotaro and he’s at least level 10; that Bombs encounter pushed him past the threshold.

I love how this guy is saying this approximately two seconds after one of his buddies dropped dead from a burst of high-pressure water materializing directly above a teenage girl’s arm.

They do pretty heavy damage with guns and grenades, but nothing Cascada can’t handle. Meanwhile Jotaro does a fraction of his optimal damage because they’re at Long range.

I try to turn around and slam back some hot cola, but a Wicked Master immediately leaps in from behind the text box.


Motherfucker.

I grind Jojo back up to Lv10 and trigger the event again.

MOTHERFUCKE- it’s fine it’s only EXP, it’s fine…

Kakyoin’s shopping down in the bottom left corner. Think he remembers threatening Cascada’s life two days ago?


Both: -groan-
Kakyoin: What?
Jotaro: I’m gonna go for lunch.
Jotaro: That dry curry is no joke.
Cascada: Save me a seat, I get the feeling I’m going to be drinking about two dozen shots of espresso over the next half hour.

Kakyoin’s an interesting party member, with a bunch of status-inflicting skills and some Long-range attacks that keep growing in power. Most bosses are vulnerable to status effects in this game, so he actually can end up saving the day in the right circumstances.

Kakyoin: …Is there anything you like, Cascada?
Kakyoin: You’re too young for me, but no reason I can’t start early.

There’s really only one choice here.

Kakyoin: …Yeah, I guess this’ll be a lot more useful than jewelry in the long run… Haha…
Cascada: This way, if I ever have to punch you in the face, I’ll remember you while doing it.
Kakyoin: Ahem, well. Let’s keep that to a minimum, if possible.
Cascada: No promises.

You can ask Steel for your FP rankings at any time. Character-specific events like Kakyoin buying you a present usually increase FP, and you can weight specific party members with certain character-agnostic events.

Kakyoin: You’re throwing off my game, Cascada.
Cascada: You could buy her some brass knuckles?
Kakyoin: -sigh-

Kakyoin doesn’t try to buy you jewelry if you’re playing as a male protagonist. Instead, you get an event where you both try to score with this barfly. It goes poorly for multiple reasons.

Yeah, no less than three spawn in on this little pier every time we go outside. Kind of a pain.


Kakyoin: I’m gonna go to the shops. Be seeing you.

Due to the Polnareff Incident, I’ve played more battles with Abdul than anyone else so far. He’s a solid mid-range nuker but he also only does fire damage. Still, never a bad choice to walk around with.

While you’re with Abdul, a new NPC spawns in by the restaurant.

Abdul: ?.. I’m sorry, Miss. Do you need something?


Cascada: Can’t you use your fortune-telling to cheat at gambling?
Abdul: That would be unethical.
Cascada: More or less unethical than casinos?

Why not.

Cascada: Come on Abdul, give me something here. The Machine needs a new pair of shoes.
Abdul: Very well. Heads.

Cascada:
Abdul: -smirk-

We stopped by briefly with Kakyoin, but now we hit up the marketplace / food court in the center of the map in earnest.

Cascada: Huh? Do you like sushi, Abdul?
Cascada: You gonna be alright? Is sushi halal?
Abdul: I appreciate the concern, but I am non-practicing.

A rare textbox gaffe! I remember playing Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town on the GBA and one of the text boxes was still in totally untranslated Japanese.

Cascada: Wow, who’d have thought? Let’s grab some, then!
Abdul: Are you sure? As long as it’s not on my account.

Tamago is egg, and in the context of sushi refers to a sort of sweetened omelette; supposedly, the quality of a chef’s tamago sushi is the surest indicator of their skill. Ikura is salmon roe. Toro is bluefin tuna belly.

Salmon is salmon. Salmon wasn’t considered suitable for sushi until the late 80s to early 90s, the culmination of a decade-long Norwegian marketing campaign for importing salmon to Japan.

I’m glad we can bond over good food after teaming up to immolate the French. There are lessons to be learned from this, even in 2024.


Hmmmmm.


Joseph: Heheheh… It’s like you’re my granddaughter.
Cascada: Try and hook me up with Jotaro and we are THROUGH, old timer.
Joseph: He has to learn to stop pulling it out at every opportunity before I even think about that.
Abdul: Well, I’ll just be going then.

Joseph joins us for Round 2 of the Hong Kong food tour.

Joseph: Mmm, this IS good!

There is a minuscule (like 1 in 800) chance she actually gives you a bunny girl outfit. That’s something to deal with another day.

Joseph: Are you old enough to drink?
Cascada: In Hong Kong I am.
Joseph: Good enough for me.


Joseph: Cascada, listen to me. You need to be careful around ANY men associated with pillars.
Cascada: …okay…?
Joseph: EXTREMELY careful.



okay seriously what’s with all the Italian food here in Hong Kong Harbor


Joseph: Mmm! This is great!

Joseph: (Hong Kong naicha) I see! The tea’s really strong, so they cut it with condensed milk… It’s mellow but fragrant!

Joseph: (congee) Rice porridge with peas… Good AND good for you!

Joseph: (hot cola) Whaddya mean, hot!? Cola’s obviously supposed to be drunk cold! I’ll pass, thanks! Just one cup for us, pops! That’s more than enough!

Joseph: (cheong fun) Wow, I thought these were pork sausages, but they’re actually rice noodles! There’s all kinds of fix-ins, too. Great!

Joseph: (gai daan jai) Hmm… It looks like a waffle, but it’s sweeter than anything I’ve ever had in America. Not bad.

Joseph: (fish balls) Skewered, lightly fried fish paste with a curry flavor… It’s surprisingly addictive.

Joseph: (siu mei) Mmm! The crispness of the skin perfectly compliments the juiciness of the meat! This would go well with rice…

I’ve been watching a lot of the original Iron Chef lately and I feel like they say “that would go well with rice!” a lot (especially when Chen Kenichi, the Sichuan Sage, son of Chen Kenmin the God of Sichuan Cooking, is on duty), which always strikes me as a slightly silly thing to say. You’re telling me this flavorful main dish would go well with the bland staple grain that half the entire world eats? Come on.


Hey, wait a minute…

It’s Utah! Still putzing around Hong Kong, I see. (I guess it’s only been a day)

Utah: What do you say? Would you like to test your strength?

Joseph: Shit! Is this one of Dio’s assassins!?
Cascada: Nah, just a run of the mill loser. He can live.

Joseph is possibly the best party member in the game. He’s got a wide variety of skills for all ranges and a late-game buff that breaks the difficulty curve if you’re a very particular kind of sicko. The trade-off is that he takes a fair bit more EXP to level up than the others.

Utah’s almost twice as strong as before and summons a second Burns, but The Machine has been honed to a laser’s edge from her trials during the Polnareff Incident. A couple of Thunder Beams and the poor bastard doesn’t stand a chance.

Utah: …No. I shouldn’t let this get to me. You truly are an excellent Stand user… You should give yourself a pat on the back.
Utah: Not like you can reach it at your size, though…
Cascada: What was that? “Please burn my face off with your Heat Ray, Cascada?”
Utah: But don’t get complacent! There are Stand users far stronger than I in Singapore. Make sure to stay alert. I don’t care how strong you are… you’ll stay away from them if you know what’s good for you.
Joseph: Perhaps you could join us? Another Stand-user we could trust would be welcome.
Utah: Heh, I’ll think about it. Ask me again once I’m back on the market.
Cascada: I dunno, are you really good enough for us? I’ve kicked your ass twice now.
Utah: I’ll tell ya what: we’ll settle the score next time. Winner buys.
Cascada: You’re on.

Fighting Utah gets you +1 FP with whoever’s in your party at the time. I’m trying to keep everyone pretty even for now, but you readers should sound off in the comments with who of the main five you think should be Cascada’s best bud. I’m serious, I need to know this.

We go to heal up.


Cascada: Yum… My compliments to the chef!
Joseph: …What am I gonna do with you…

haha fat people right (i fucking hate this)





Kakyoin can also do this with Hierophant Green.

Joseph hits Lv12 here from fighting the Bombs and Burns at the pier. I actually make sure to grind up every other member of the party to Lv12 offscreen before we leave the harbor; this gets Cascada up to Lv15.

Anyway, there’s one more secret here (well, two, but I’m saving the second one for a Special Occasion later). After getting Kakyoin back in the party to keep FP even, we head to the west side of the map and search behind the pillars.


A man in a business suit starts booking it away!

You have to talk to him three times in total, and he speeds up each time. And I mean really speeds up.

That’s not a cutscene, he is actually moving that fast. The trick is that since he’s set to always run directly away from you, you can sort of corral him into corners.

Like so.

If you have a specific Stand, it zooms after him and you skip to this final encounter immediately.

Cascada: I had a feeling you were the one behind all these incidents! Are you working for Dio!?




Kakyoin: You aren’t exactly helping your case.

Turns out Emilio moved so fast because he was riding his Stand Chicken Shack like a chocobo. It is accordingly the fastest enemy we’ve seen up to now; Boss Fight Polnareff had 190 Speed, but Chicken Shack has 500. Thankfully there are no double turns or anything, it just means that it acts first every round and is really hard to hit.

Remember, if the Stand is hard to fight, aim for the user.

Pretend I made a stock joke here. You know.

This move restores his HP and SP and buffs all of his stats. Not that it matters. He drops like all the rest.



Here we go baby!

You can burn a Badge of Honor for a random beneficial effect, but you also need them to activate bonuses between playthroughs, or indeed the ability to even access another playthrough without starting from scratch.

My plan is actually to load an old save that’s already beaten the game 3+ times once we hit the end of this one, so no sense hanging onto the Badges, but I probably will anyway just to prove a point. Let’s save and load a couple times.

Not bad.

Tonio runs the closed Italian restaurant from Update 3 (and JoJo Part 4). We get five each of like six different items that all restore huge piles of HP and SP.

This was enough to make Cascada jump from Lv13 directly to Lv18. Alas, we must reload.

Cascada’s been slamming espresso to keep topped up between every three or so fights all update long. We drink one last triple shot for luck, and we’ll set sail next update!

<= Previous | Top | =To Be Continued=>

1 Like