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The Best Buds poll is over, with Jotaro and Joseph both in the lead at 19 votes and Abdul only just trailing behind with 18. Considering just how close it was, I’ll focus on these three while leaving Kakyoin and Polnareff to fend for themselves (that is, I’ll still show off their exclusive events, but I’ll either load a save after or otherwise ensure they stay out of the running). We can figure it out at a later date, but if you feel really strongly about someone in particular then leave a comment or share explaining your reasoning.
Anyway, last time we blew up a goth, several dozen dolls, and a pervert. It’s time to play tourist in Singapore, which is a place that I can’t 100% hate because it’s where my family’s from but also is definitely fucked up in a bunch of ways.
Restaurant check!
Hainanese Chicken Rice is the national dish of Singapore, to the point where in the United States it’s often called “Singapore chicken rice”. It’s essentially poached chicken, but the rice is toasted in the schmaltz and cooked in the stock and gets arguably even more flavorful than the meat. There’s a reason it’s called “chicken rice” and not just “chicken”.
You might think “pepper” in this circumstance is some kind of chili pepper, but it is in fact bog-standard black pepper. A lot of it, toasted with garlic, shrimp paste, and other spices, and cooked down into a sauce used to stir-fry the crab.
Cascada: I shall return for thee, chicken rice.
The Singapore map seems enormous after the Hong Kong ones; it’s not actually that much bigger than the first HK map, but constantly going back to the hotel to swap out party members makes it feel larger.
Polnareff is a good 2-3 levels above the rest at this point, so we’re going to beeline his events on the south end and then kick him out.
Wicked Masters are still an encounter here and still total assholes. Green Hornets and Lv3 Murderdolls would be around too if we hadn’t wasted Kate on the tanker or Joey in the hotel.
Polnareff: Huh? Are you talking to me?
Probably closer to 1000-4000 Sing dollars, depending.
Singapore’s biggest stereotype worldwide is this kind of stuff, where they have extremely punitive laws and fines against littering or spitting or graffiti or whatnot. Here’s an infamous sign from a Singapore rail station:
Singapore is also infamous for corporal punishment, aka The Cane, which is a whole process designed to be as psychologically demeaning as possible. You’re basically stripped naked, bent over, and tied to some kind of frame while a specially trained caning officer hits you full force directly in the ass with a big stick.
This looks like a shitpost, but consider that a government official and a medical officer are also standing in the room. You’re supposed to get all the strokes at the same time, but the doctor checks very carefully after each stroke to make sure you’re still medically fit to receive the rest. If not, back to the rest of your prison sentence until you’re fully recovered at some unclear point in the future, and in the meantime you can’t sit or shit properly because there’s a bloody bruise across your ass.
…they’ll also just fucking kill you. Two people were executed by hanging in 2023 for drug trafficking. What drug? Marijuana.
Cascada: If you didn’t keep your clothes in a hobo bindle, this wouldn’t happen.
Polnareff: It’s a BURLAP SACK and you know it.
If you remember this sprite from Update 9, it’s the encounter with a group of three assassins. Now they can spawn in anywhere as a normal battle. It’s not rare to end up with two or three nipping at your heels while just wandering around Singapore.
Gotta hit up that konbini.
Cascada: Why not just buy it now?
Polnareff: Well… I forgot my wallet! Heh.
Cascada: You could use a comically large wallet chain like Jotaro.
Polnareff: I’d rather, 'ow you say, break my own legs.
Oh, fine. It’s only 100G.
Cascada: I’ll just buy it for you. I don’t want to make another trip.
Cascada: My planner ALREADY says I have to come back with Jotaro later. Yippee.
Polnareff: Wow, are you sure? I’ll have to pay you back when we get to the hotel.
Cascada: Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s not like it’s expensive.
Polnareff: No, I insist! It’s the principle of the thing! Here, take this in exchange.
If you’re playing as a male character, you get some Ripple-Infused Wine (5%+100 HP and 5%+5 SP for the whole party) instead.
Cascada: …Rouge? Why did you have this?
Polnareff: Oh, it’s a big-ticket item in France now! I was hoping to give it to a cute girl as a present.
Cascada: Choose your next words carefully.
Polnareff: Ah, uh… that’s all.
Cascada: 55 points.
Polnareff: …out of how many?
We can equip it for 50% resistance to Fear, but I’d rather have the Brass Knuckles for now.
On the way back I go into this building for reasons unknown.
You can’t, actually, and I wouldn’t want the day counter to tick up anyway. On the second floor…
Hope that kid’s okay. He’s probably having a rough time.
We finally drop off Polnareff to recover from his shampoo escapades.
There is some EXP leak, but I’m not sure precisely how much. Polnareff was level 18, but everyone else is hovering around 15. They all get up to at least 16 by the time we leave.
The Lv3 Murderdolls still mindlessly pace this corner of the hotel, but they no longer pursue you (and they’re not out in the overworld). Decent grinding fodder if you need it.
Jotaro: Oi, Cascada. I need to go to the 7-11.
Cascada: -sigh- Yeah, alright.
Backtracking because I feel like I need to show everything off rather than letting the game unfold organically wooooo
Cascada: Roger. I’ll just wait here.
Cascada: I sure hope someone doesn’t run directly into my outstretched fist and give me their wallet to apologize.
Cascada: What? I’m waiting on a friend right now.
Cascada: Also, I’m still in high school. ALSO also, I have an arm cannon.
Cascada: I’m seriously telling you this for your own good. I nearly killed a Frenchman with this very hand.
Cascada: I did just get a Venom Cannon and I’m itching to try it out.
Cascada: Fine. I can downshift to The Hose. Heat Ray AT MINIMUM.
Jotaro: I guess you could be working for Dio… Nah, you look way too pathetic. I’ll go easy on you.
This is of course meant to be Jotaro punching him, but we all know the truth. This hooligan is nothing but carbon now. The Machine will not abide.
South of the 7-11, at the south-east (bottom right) corner of the map…
Yeah, it’s not actually that impressive, though these days you can see the comically fancy Marina Bay Sands hotel across the water.
The kid does his best.
Jotaro: They’re actuall-
Cascada: Don’t tell them. A boy has the right to dream.
See the whole shpiel above. Singapore also has no qualms about prosecuting foreign nationals if they feel like it.
This is priming you for the next story boss, who might be straight up impossible if you haven’t been levelling up.
Considering its proximity to the cable car station, this is probably meant to be the HarbourFront Centre, formerly known as the World Trade Centre. It was definitely open by 1988 (though the cable car didn’t go there until the early 00s) but maybe we’re just here really early in the morning.
Around here is where I completely forget to have any logical map progression because I’m going back and forth from the hotel so often. The hotel is sort of center-top, and this next screenshot is a block or so west (left) of that.
Unfortunately, we do not have a healing Stand. Sorry, chief.
Say hello to a new encounter. These are a call-back to JoJo Part 1 (aka Phantom Blood), where Dio used his vampire powers to zombify people into his thralls. They’re scattered around the whole map, but always confined to shaded areas. They simply won’t follow you into the sun.
They aren’t particularly tough (and Cascada has multiple Light element spells like poor ol’ forgotten Sunbeam), but they do have an annoying HP drain attack that hits a fair bit harder than you might be expecting.
The 7-11 groper was Jotaro’s only event here because he features in the next story segment, so it’s time to drop him off at the pool and roll with the next goober.
Both: -groan-
Kakyoin: What? I’m just trying to be chivalrous!
Cascada: Brass knuckles.
Kakyoin: …I will make my best attempt at toning it down.
Cascada: That’s all I’m asking.
We head back outside and down south to the beach, when…
IT’S HIM
Hell yeah. Tonio Trussardi (remember the closed restaurant in the Japan map?) is actually running around somewhere in every map, but he’s usually too fast to catch up with. The alleyways have blessed me on this day.
Worth it. You can do this as often as your coffers allow, though it’s a random stat each time. You can also buy some great curatives, but I’m too afraid the Hunger Tax will delete them and don’t pick any up.
We’re in the south-west (bottom left) corner of the map here, and I go to talk to what looks like a normal NPC.
Cascada: One day we’re going to find that Joey motherfucker and no amount of Heat Rays will be enough.
Kakyoin: Indeed. He gives us gentlemen a bad name.
Cascada: -sigh-
Cascada: Kopi? What’s that?
Kakyoin: Oh, it’s Singaporean coffee! They put condensed milk in it, so it’s super sweet. Would you like me to buy you a cup?
Cascada: …fine.
Kakyoin: By the way, Cascada, how do you usually take your coffee?
You know how people in the States go to Starbucks and order some kind of mega-sweet hyper-specific drink that’s like five words long and sounds like gibberish? That’s how kopi is in Singapore.
Anyway, I usually take my own coffee with cream and sugar (well, artificial sweetener), but I’m not The Machine. Black it is.
Kakyoin: …Mm. This is really good coffee. Well, shall we be going? Oh no, don’t take your wallet out. I’m the one who ordered it in the first place, so let me pay.
If you’re playing as a male character, Kakyoin pranks you by ordering the opposite of what you picked. Asshole.
Kakyoin: Shall I prove my manly sense of chivalry by examining those bars for you, Cascada?
Cascada: what the fuck is wrong with you today dude
This guy might as well be named “Difficulty Spike”. It’s got about twice as much HP as all of Ebony Devil’s phases put together and has a bunch of multi-target attacks. The Spirits there are the next step up in the Burns enemy line and can inflict several status effects, but they drop the first turn to a Freeze Ray.
My guide said it’s weak to Water and I gotta say, that’s bullshit. It is weak to Ice, though.
It’s been ages since Quicksilver’s high SP costs actually caused problems because it’s usually enough to burst things down. I’d nearly forgotten the feeling.
Cascada begrudgingly clocks in to item-dispensing duty while Kakyoin continues blasting. It doesn’t take too long.
Cascada: okay listen here you little shit
More seriously, a lot of RPG NPC chatter is basically reverse-psychology advice. Patrick Holleman refers to this phenomenon as “NPC Irony”; if someone says “don’t go in that house, it’s haunted!” then you as the player know to definitely go in there and be prepared to fight ghost-type enemies.
Shocking Blue is also a chance to get extra FP with whomever you’d like, and Kakyoin was lagging a bit behind. With this and the kopi event, he’s back up to speed, and killing a few more zombies and assassins gets him to level 16 quickly enough.
Kakyoin’s abilities are all just like, “what if I shot more Emerald Splash” and I think it’s funny. Back to the hotel!
Abdul’s already at 16, probably because of his solo fight against Polnareff a while back.
North of the Merlion is the cable car station.
Sure are a lot of dogs here, it would be a shame if something happened to them. Good thing Hirohiko Araki doesn’t have a track record of brutally killing dogs.
Cascada: Huh? There’s something on its mouth…
Abdul: Oh, you mean this muzzle? In Singapore, there’s a law that aggressive dogs must wear them.
I think Cascada would absolutely kick a dog, but not without reason.
Abdul: Hahaha… You’re quite sensitive, aren’t you? But it might hurt itself or other dogs without it, so it’s really the most effective way.
Cascada: I see…
Cascada: Mister Joestar?
Abdul: No. An actual dog.
Cascada: Oh, okay.
I do still run around a bit with Abdul out of principle, and we hit up a few of the other buildings in town.
Yeah, that ain’t happening. I need to leave it for Rohan Kishibe anyway.
The only reason Ubisoft’s ill-fated pirate game Skull and Bones hasn’t been canned is because they made a deal with the Singaporean government to get subsidies for forming a new studio there. They’re legally on the hook to employ a certain number of people and release a new IP, and do you really want to mess with the government of a country that hits people with sticks (and much worse)?
There’s a little gym in this building.
“Fighting” the sandbag drains your HP and SP every turn, and I believe you have a tiny chance to get stat gains based on how low the numbers get. The EXP sure isn’t worth it though, and…
Cascada: Between my Heat Ray and your Crossfire Hurricane, I’m not sure why we thought fighting a sandbag in an enclosed space was a good idea.
Abdul: The whims of fate lead us in strange directions at times, Miss Cascada.
Time to hang out with Party Grandpa!
Here you can see how Joseph’s level up curve is a bit steeper than the others. For reference, Kakyoin hits level 16 at 6249 EXP, and Jotaro at 7000.
I corner Tonio one more time for good measure. Spirit is our Magic Attack stat, so this is a nice get.
Joseph’s Ripple attacks wreck Zombies, as one might expect; the Ripple was the superpower of choice to fight vampires in Part 1 and Part 2.
Over by the Merlion…
Cascada: Sorry, I haven’t…
Joseph: Did you drop it somewhere, Miss?
Joseph: Hmm… I think it’s in the woods over there.
Joseph: Heh heh… All in a day’s work! Careful not to lose it again, okay?
You can also do this one with Abdul, where he uses his fortune-telling to find it. But enough wandering around.
Food tour! Food tour! Food tour!
Cascada: I’m not sure how well that stuffed panda handled being in a lifeboat on the South China Sea for three days, so I GUESS I should get my sister something else…
By the way, kaya jam is a sweetened coconut spread. Toast with butter and kaya (often dipped into soft-boiled eggs) is a quintessential breakfast item in Singapore. There are a ton of chains that specialize in kaya toast and the kopi we had earlier with Kakyoin.
Joseph: Does this have coconut milk in it!? It’s… interesting.
Peranakan food is in the center of a venn diagram of Chinese, Indian, Indonesian, and Malay, so you get combinations that don’t quite appear in the same way as any one of those regions. Laksa is a sort of curry noodle soup thickened with tamarind, sambal, and shrimp paste. The only places I can get it around here are each 30 minutes away by car and I wish I had the mental energy to make that drive more often.
Joseph: Oh, I’ve had something like this in Japan… Oden, I think? It has a mild, savory flavor.
I was gonna say Joseph was only in Japan for like 48 hours, but considering how much we’ve scarfed down in Hong Kong and here, I guess him eating oden isn’t that much of a stretch.
The main feature of this dish is tofu stuffed with fish paste, though especially in Southeast Asia it’s more like anything stuffed with fish paste.
Joseph: Huh, so they eat boiled crab with chili sauce here! It’s very hearty… pretty good, too!
To me, this is the iconic dish of Singapore. The crab is stir-fried in a tomato chili sauce and it always comes with a side of steamed or fried buns to mop up after. I haven’t eaten it in over 15 years and this fact fills me with sadness.
Joseph: Mmm! This peanut sauce is addictive!
It sure is. No notes.
With our bellies full, we take one final lap around Singapore to make sure nothing was missed. Just outside, we run into someone lurking in the shadows.
What’s your deal? Someone’s going to confuse you for a zombie if you only hang out in the shade.
Like this guy, for instance. We just gotta investigate this dude off in a weird alleyway.
Joseph: Oh my God! Isn’t that…
Utah: …Uhh… Stay away…
Oh shit.
Cascada: Utah! Don’t you recognize me!? I kicked your ass TWICE! We’re buddies, aren’t we?
Utah: Ugh… can’t… settle score…
Joseph: He’s already gone, Cascada.
He’s not very strong. Never was, but…
Cascada: Not like this!
Joseph: The power of the sun! Overdrive!
Joseph: That… that was a zombie! Don’t tell me that Dio…
Cascada: Did Dio do this!? I thought he was in Egypt!
Joseph: That wasn’t from a flesh bud… both Kakyoin and Polnareff could walk out in broad daylight! What’s going on…?
Someone else lurks just one alleyway over.
We get booted directly back to the title screen. If we capitulate.
Cascada: Lady, I just had to mercy kill a guy twenty feet away from here. You do NOT want to fuck with me right now.
Vins: Human beings are just pawns of fate. Those who go against fate risk upsetting the balance of things… You are not of this world… You’re not supposed to be here… I MUST make things right!
Hanoi Rocks is a glass cannon, hitting us hard with slashing attacks and preventing retaliation by inflicting Blind. Vins will either resummon the Spirits hanger-on or use a group Defense buff to shore up her Stand’s weaknesses. Re-summoning is definitely the preferred option here, seeing as we can drop the adds with minimal issue.
Like so. Still, this isn’t a battle to be taken too lightly. The optional bosses are starting to ramp up.
Vins: Argh!!
Joseph: The Ripple was effective!? Are you a…!?
Cascada: I don’t care WHAT this bitch is! Quicksilver!
Vins: Next time we meet, I WILL kill you… Cascada.
Cascada: Same to you… Vins.
Joseph: She got away! Do you know her, Cascada? She did say your name…
Cascada: No, I didn’t recognize her… how DID she know my name…?
Our current FP standings at the end of Singapore.
Cascada: Steel… is that who you meant? The one searching for me?
Steel: …
Cascada: Why am I bothering… you’re a “prerecorded message”, aren’t you…
Steel: Do you remember what I told you? I want to change the future… And you’re the only one who can.