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Last time, we prevented heat stroke by blowing up the entire sun (false). This time, we might finally get some sleep in after nearly three weeks of nonstop travel.
Or not. Kakyoin wakes up transformed into a monstrous vermin inside a Ferris wheel, and there’s a persistent “baby crying” sound effect playing throughout the scene.
Kakyoin: What amusement park is this? I don’t recall ever being here before… W-why am I here? This isn’t right… We were supposed to be crossing the Saudi Arabian desert! Where are Mr. Joestar and the others? Am I alone?
Any time a balloon shows up in literally anything, I think about this screenshot from my favorite Gundam show, Reconguista in G:
Araki’s Dead Dog Count is off the charts. If a dog ever shows in JoJo there’s a like 90% chance it is going to get brutally murdered somehow.
We fade to white as Death 13 bears down upon Kakyoin…
Kakyoin: …So it was just a dream… Whew… That was really scary.
Polnareff: You had a bad dream? Ooh, tell me all about it! What happened?
Kakyoin: To tell you the truth, I can’t really remember… I forgot what happened… I just know that it was awful. It’s a good thing you woke me up.
Polnareff: Yeah, whatever! C’mon, we don’t have time to gab! They’re gonna leave without us! Get ready!
Kakyoin: Right… I’ll be right out…
I bet Polnareff is one of those guys who insists on being at the airport five hours before the flight, even if it’s domestic.
Jotaro: Kakyoin’s late… Wonder if he’s still sleeping off the injuries from the Sun.
Cascada: I’m getting tired of waiting. I’m gonna shop to kill some time.
There isn’t another real hub for a bit, so we get an opportunity to stock up as per usual.
Kakyoin: A dog… A dog’s corpse… Why does this feel so familiar?
Polnareff: Yuck… That’s awful! Let’s just leave it alone…
A skunk got roadkilled about two blocks away from my place the other day. You can tell because the smell lingers for about 48 hours in a ten block radius. (For those who have never encountered a skunk, imagine taking a bottle of toasted sesame oil and drinking the whole thing in one breath; that’s what it smells like.)
For you Centrigrade folks, this is edging right up against 39 degrees.
Joseph: T-then what about that plane over there?
Cascada: …it’s the PILOT that’s the problem…
Jotaro: Heh.
Joseph: I didn’t cut an ancient superbeing into pieces with a length of string over a giant pit of spikes to take lip from you kids.
A couple of player Stands can sidestep this encounter entirely either by healing the baby or fixing the broken plane. Cascada can do neither, unfortunately.
Joseph: Er… Well… That is…
Polnareff: -whispering- Yes!
Kakyoin: I would rather save the dying attractive older woman, certainly…
Joseph: What!?
Kakyoin: Ah!! The baby just smiled… It already has some teeth…?
Kakyoin: Oops… S-sorry… I didn’t even touch it…
Cascada: If it’s sick, you probably shouldn’t be touching it in the first place…
Joseph: Hey, hold on! You’re asking too much! It’s dangerous for a baby to come with us!
Polnareff: Actually, I think it’s a great idea! No-one will be able to attack us 60 miles above the ground at the speed we’re going. Not even Lovers could catch up to us this way.
I don’t know what else to say other than this must be a botched line translation; 60 miles up is outer space. My manga sources have the line as “No Stand can catch a Cessna flying hundreds of kilometers an hour!” and the anime skips this exchange in favor of a Gilligan cut to everyone crowded into the plane with the baby.
Cascada: I’ve never tried a drive-by with my Stand. I shoulda done that to that Wheel of Fortune guy…
Jotaro: If the mother’s fine with it, then so am I. I’d worry more about Grampa’s flying than an enemy Stand, though.
Polnareff: Then it’s settled!
I believe this cutscene was the final time you’ll get to see Cascada: Saudi Arabia Edition. I gotta wonder how much work it was to implement this odd detail that lasts for two, maybe three segments.
Sometimes a baby just has bad vibes.
I wish I could sleep on planes. I don’t have that superpower; best I can manage is entering a half-conscious fugue state.
Jotaro: Kakyoin? Are you asleep already?
Polnareff: Oh, yeah, he said he had a bad dream this morning, so I guess he didn’t get that much rest. Well, guess I’ll take a nap, too… -yaaaaaaaaawn-
Polnareff: …Whew… So it’s just a dream, huh? What a relief! This dead dog really had me freaked out. Dreams are only scary if you psych yourself out enough to think they are! You should relax, Kakyoin!
Kakyoin: But think about it, Polnareff… Why would two people be having the same dream?
Polnareff: …Huh, I guess that IS kinda weird! Well, dreams usually are. Wooooah! I made popcorn and soft serve ice cream appear in my hand! This is fantastic! It’s a dream! Lighten up a little! Hahahahahaha!
Kakyoin: Are you twelve!?
I feel like the scary thing about dreams is that you have no control over them, but I’m not a lucid dreamer. Lucid dreamers sound off, I guess.
Polnareff: …Who did it, then?
Kakyoin: The enemy Stand… Death 13!
Polnareff: A Stand? Whaaaat? You had a dream about an enemy Stand!? Hahaha! You’ve really gotta relax, Kakyoin!
Kakyoin: No, you’ve got it all wrong! This isn’t a dream about a Stand… It’s a Stand inside a dream!
Polnareff: Well, yeah, duh. This IS a dream.
Kakyoin: How do you not get it!?!? That’s not the point!!!
Time for a tangent about the “rally-ho!” thing! You might also recognize this phrase as the greeting dwarves use in the Final Fantasy series. It originates from the 1966 Hanna-Barbera superhero cartoon The Impossibles, which was a cult hit in Japan as “Super Three”. “Rally-ho!” was the group’s battle cry, and at this point the phrase itself has just sort of spread through the public consciousness.
As for why it’s being used here of all places, the original Dragon Quest used the phrase for its sleep spell (translated as “Snooze” in English). Referencing it for a sleep/dream based Stand isn’t much of a stretch, particularly with Shonen Jump’s deep ties to Dragon Quest. Here’s the cover of the Jan. 22, 1990 edition of Weekly Jump showcasing all of the currently running mangaka of the time in DQ cosplay:
Dragon Ball’s Akira Toriyama at the bottom of the third column and JoJo’s Hirohiko Araki is right above him.
Kakyoin: Come out! Hierophant Green! …? …!? Polnareff, bring out your Chariot! C’mon, Hierophant Green!
Polnareff: My… my Stand isn’t coming out!
Polnareff: This has never happened before!
Kakyoin: Hierophant isn’t appearing either! It must be because it’s a dream!
Both party members are inflicted with the “Dreaming” status here, which locks you out of your entire ability menu. All you can do is a basic attack or guard.
One neat detail is that every Stand has its own basic attack animation, whether that be Hermit Purple’s vines, Magician’s Red’s fireballs, or Quicksilver’s laser beams. In this battle, Kakyoin and Polnareff lose their Emerald Splash and sword-slash attack animations and just get a generic “hit” effect for swinging with their fists.
It ends quick, as any hopeless boss fight ought to.
At the last moment, Polnareff fades out of existence.
Joseph: Polnareff! Wake up, Polnareff! Hey, don’t go to sleep yet! You’ve gotta change the baby’s diapers first!
Polnareff: U-uggghhh…
Kakyoin: N-nnnn… Zzz… Zzz…
Jotaro: Hm?
Joseph: What’s wrong, Jotaro?
Jotaro: Thought I heard someone click their tongue…
Joseph: You’re probably just hearing things. Hey, Polnareff! Are you awake yet!? C’mon it’s an emergency!
Polnareff: All right, all right… Fine. Whew… I had a terrible nightmare… But… I can’t seem to remember what about.
Cascada: Here’s the diaper.
Polnareff: Uhhhhhhhhh… How do you do this again? I’ve never changed a diaper before… Where are the Pampers?
Joseph: Where do you think we are? There are no disposable diapers out here. You just use cloth and close it with a safety pin.
Polnareff: Shouldn’t you be doing this, Cascada?
Cascada: What? No way. You’re the one who said we should take the baby.
Polnareff: Hmm… Huh? Ack!! Euuughh… Ewww! H-hey, wait! There’s poop in the diaper! Look! Do you see!?
Joseph: Well, yeah, it’s a baby. Why else would it be wearing a diaper?
Polnareff: Seriously!? Yuck! What a filthy creature!
Polnareff: How about like this? Is this fine…?
Cascada: Polnareff, you’re doing it all wrong! You’ll hurt the baby that way.
Polnareff: T-this baby needs to learn that the world isn’t always fair! Sometimes you just can’t use the bathroom where you want!
Cascada: At least redo the safety pin, man. Come on.
Polnareff: Argh… YOU do it then!
Cascada: Good grief… Fine, hand it over. …You’re gonna make a terrible father.
Kakyoin: Aaauuuggghhh!! Stop! Stop it!
Jotaro: What’s wrong, Kakyoin!?
Joseph: What’s going on back there?
Kakyoin: Stooooopppp!!
Joseph: S-shit! He bumped the controls! We’re in a tailspin! It’s out of control!
Jotaro: H-hey… This plane… Is it… gonna crash?
Joseph: Uhh… UHHH…
Cascada: Y-you’ve gotta be kidding!
Aha! Our escapades with Joseph in Karachi have pushed him up over that 10 FP threshold. Now all we need to do is make sure Polnareff stays below 10.
Kakyoin: Y-your user is… That baby!? Unbelievable… He can’t be more than 6 months old…
Supposedly the eyes are one of the best parts of a fish; my father always took them for himself. It’s definitely true for the meat from the head, at least. Fish head curry is a Singapore classic.
Kakyoin: (I can’t believe it… A Stand that attacks you in your dreams… I have to let Jotaro and the others know somehow! But my memories are erased as soon as I wake up, and I can’t bring out my Stand here… What can I do…? …That’s it!)
Now, not to get prudish or all “urgh, kids these days” or anything, but maybe 11-month-olds shouldn’t be trying to brag about how big their dicks are. Who knows what else they’ll start saying! It might lead to a bit of a slippery slope, you know?
Meanwhile…
Polnareff: That was too close!
Joseph: Whew… Just in the nick of time!
Cascada: W-we just barely made it…
Cascada: Mr. Joestar! In front of you!!!
Jotaro: Hey!
Joseph: Wha… what’s a palm tree doing in a place like this!?
Jotaro: Gimme a break. I knew it was too good to be true…
A simple but effective tile technique to communicate nighttime. Honestly, like 30% of why I’m doing this Let’s Play is to try and absorb RPG Maker tricks via osmosis.
Kakyoin: …I don’t know… I really don’t… I feel like I had a horrible dream… And when I woke up, I felt like death… Am I going crazy…?
Joseph: Perk up, Kakyoin! You’re probably just strung out from everything that’s happened so far. It’s already been 17 days since we’ve left Japan.
Cascada: Being hounded by killer bugs and evil dolls on a daily basis is AT LEAST as bad as jet lag.
Polnareff: And there hasn’t been a decent bathroom since Hong Kong!
Jotaro: Hey, the baby’s fever went down.
Joseph: Oh, thank goodness! If something happened to this innocent baby under our care, I don’t know what I’d do…
Joseph: Look, it’s laughing! Isn’t that precious?
Polnareff: ? …Is that supposed to be funny?
Joseph: I’m not trying to be funny! Listen, when you cover up your face, the baby thinks you’re gone. Then, when you move your hands and go “peek-a-boo!”… It sees that you’re there again, and it’s happy!
Polnareff: I think you just look like an idiot.
This is called “object permanence”. Supposedly, infants don’t develop the cognitive ability to understand it until they’re between 1 and 2 years old, but that’s based on some pretty old research by Jean Piaget. A related concept is “conservation”, where children under a certain threshold can’t discern that - for example - a tall, thin glass of water can hold the same amount of liquid as a short, wide one.
Jotaro: Hey, Gramps… The radio’s still intact. Should we send out an S.O.S. signal? If we do, Dio’s allies will probably know we’re here.
Joseph: We’ve got no choice… We can’t afford to endanger this baby! Call the rescue team.
This is an all-timer “absurd JoJo moment” for me. Of course it makes perfect sense in context, but it’s such a comical image. The idea that Kakyoin somehow recognizes his own (English!) handwriting in the form of carving a message into his own arm with a pocket knife is just the cherry on top.
Kakyoin: This looks like a knife wound… But there’s no blood on my knife! Did I forget something important…!?
Baby: (Shit… He’s smarter than I gave him credit for… I thought he was trying to just wake himself up when he cut himself, but I was wrong…)
Kakyoin: !? What? The baby averted its eyes… It was avoiding my gaze on purpose! “Baby”… “Stand”… I get it! The baby is the Stand user! Agh… Am I really going crazy!? I’m actually starting to suspect this baby!
Baby: Waaaaaaaahhh!!
Joseph: Hey, Kakyoin! What are you doing!?
Kakyoin: Ah!! N-no, I wasn’t…
This reminds me of a classic Giant Bomb segment. I’ll remember “NO NO NO! PLEASE DON’T SHAKE THE BABY!” for probably the rest of my life.
Joseph: Anyhow… Let’s hurry up and get dinner ready so we can sleep. We need the rest.
Baby: (Heh heh heh…!)
Cascada: I’m asking myself that about all of you every single day.
Jotaro: He hasn’t had a cherry in a while… it might be withdrawal.
Baby: Goo goo… (Gweh-heh! I thought I was in trouble there… But Kakyoin’s starting to doubt himself! And we’re smack in the middle of the desert… I’ll just kick back for a while until I can kill them. If there’s no one to wake them, then there’s no hope of escaping the world of my Death 13! After that, I’ll wait for my allies to pick me up…)
I suppose you would call this some kind of banana bread pudding? This also brings up the question of why a propeller plane flying through the desert had so many perishables onboard (or how they survived the crash, for that matter), but JoJo is not a series to be logically examined to such a needless extent.
Polnareff: Amazing! This is delicious! Gimme more!
Joseph: Then there won’t be any left for the baby!
Baby: (What’s this asshole doing!? Is he trying to eat all of my food!? C’mon, I’m hungry! Feed me already!)
I don’t think I - a grown man - could do this; arachnophobia aside, my aim simply wouldn’t be good enough. I guess the smaller you are, the higher your innate DEX bonus is, though.
Kakyoin: It killed a scorpion… I knew it! T-this baby is…
Baby: (N-now I’ve done iiitttt!!)
Kakyoin: Mr. Joestar! Polnareff! This isn’t your average baby! I just saw it kill a scorpion! It stabbed it with the safety pin in the blink of an eye!
Joseph: A scorpion…! …Where?
Kakyoin: It’s inside of the crib!! Its body should be in there somewhere! …! It’s… It’s gone…
Both: …
Kakyoin: It’s… it’s true!! Please believe me!! It must have hidden it somewhere… Search its clothes!
Joseph: That’s enough, Kakyoin! Just stop. You clearly need rest. We can talk tomorrow morning once you’ve calmed down. Go get some sleep.
Yeah my jars of scorpions always say “Warning! Do Not Feed To Infants Under 1 Year of Age” on them. Gotta be careful.
No notes. Is it bad that I find this hilarious?
Cascada: Ka… Kakyoin…
Polnareff: You’ve really gone off the deep end…
Joseph: OH MY GOD!
Jotaro: Kakyoin… Did you… do that to yourself?
Kakyoin: Yes, obviously! It’s in my handwriting! It’s incontrovertible proof that this baby has a Stand!
Polnareff: (g-gulp…)
Cascada: H-he can’t tell the difference between dreams and reality anymore… To make his story seem coherent, he must have subconsciously…
Joseph: Again, I reiterate:
Joseph: OH! MY! GOD!
This is the main reason I bothered to get Kakyoin’s FP up. You can’t choose to believe him unless he’s got at least 7.
Cascada: …I believe Kakyoin.
Polnareff: H-hey, Cascada!! Do you realize what you’re saying!?
Cascada: Of course… There’s a chance that Kakyoin’s misinterpreting the situation. But even though the chances are slim, this baby could definitely be a Stand user… And if it really has the power to kill in dreams, we could be in a lot of danger.
Kakyoin: Cascada…!
Cascada: Frankly, sometimes a baby just has bad vibes.
Polnareff: C’mon, it’s just a baby! Are you nuts!?
This isn’t even the only Stand-using baby in the series. I can think of at least two others, though you could argue that one of those isn’t a user but a Stand itself.
Jotaro: …That’s a good point.
Kakyoin: This baby is nowhere near as attractive as Miss Holly, but yes! Let’s go with that!
Cascada: You really should think about the words that come out of your mouth sometimes.
Joseph: But even so, do you intend to incapacitate an infant child!?
Kakyoin: That won’t be necessary. If its Stand can only attack us while we’re asleep, then the solution is quite simple. All we have to do is make sure at least one of us is awake at all times. If it attacks someone, we’ll know from the wounds.
The good ol’ DnD rotating watch, nothing beats that! Especially not the DM rolling on the encounter table once per person on watch. Definitely cool and not tedious as hell to fight a bunch of zombies in the jungle while you’re trying to take a long rest.
Joseph: H-hmm… I suppose that’s not unreasonable…
Jotaro: …Seems like taking turns sleeping is the best plan even if Kakyoin’s story is a load of bull. We did send out a radio signal… That’ll tip off our location to the enemy, and they could easily arrive before the rescue team. We can defend against any potential attackers while allaying Kakyoin’s suspicions. It’s a win-win situation.
Cascada: I think those are the most words I’ve ever heard you speak in a single go.
Jotaro: …my throat’s getting sore…
Joseph: …All right. You’ve sold me. We’ll have someone stand guard.
Baby: (Wh… whaaaat!? Urgh… This isn’t how this was supposed to go!!)
Joseph: …All right then. I’m going to sleep. Once the plane’s fixed, I’ll need to be alert to fly it.
Polnareff: I didn’t get a wink of sleep, so I’m tired. I’m sleeping too!
Believing Kakyoin gives you an additional 3 FP. It seems like by the end of this run, Polnareff is the only one who won’t be using our nickname.
Jotaro: Don’t overdo it, Kakyoin.
Kakyoin: Well, despite everything, I did get an afternoon nap in, so I’ll be fine. …Anyhow, The Machine…
Cascada: Hm? What’s up?
You can only choose to believe Kakyoin if he has 7 FP, but you only get this bit with the charm if you already had 10 FP with him when you choose to believe him. With the +3, I think he might actually be ahead of Joseph now.
Baby: (This just isn’t my day… Kakyoin’s keeping a close eye out… I’ll have to stop their hearts and kill them without him noticing… Then I’ll leave Kakyoin to my allies!)
Actually, this brings up a question. Does The Baby (Bottle Ship, Mother’s Cry… The Baby) - actual name, Mannish Boy - have to also be asleep to use its Stand? The manga doesn’t really answer either way, but I’d probably lean towards no.
Polnareff: Do you get it!? Kakyoin was telling the truth!! “Baby Stand”! We fell for the enemy’s trick! It may be hard to believe, but that baby is the Stand user! When we wake up, we won’t remember any of this… That’s what’s really terrifying!
Cascada: Then what happened on the plane was also…!
Jotaro: I can’t believe he wasn’t spouting bullshit for once…
If you’re the kind of person reading this, I imagine you already know, but “off-model” is a term used in animation referring to art that doesn’t match the established style of a work. Animation is a huge undertaking and involves many different people drawing the same things, so there are often “model sheets” showcasing characters from multiple angles to help keep things consistent.
There are a bunch of unique sprites for this one-off event, and there’s accordingly one for every single player type. Cascada with the >< eyes is particularly good, I think.
Polnareff: W-we can’t move… There’s no way for us to alert Kakyoin!! We were too naive… Anything can happen in this world! There are no rules here… He can do whatever he likes with us!! No… There is one rule… His only rule is that we all be dead by the time this is over!
Death 13: Rally-ho!
Jotaro: Rraaauuugh!! Star Platinum!!
I’m sure the specific form of this gag originates from somewhere, but I’d like to think “making wacky faces as a joke” is a universal human trait.
Death 13: Stands are made of your spirit energy! But when you’re dreaming, your spirit is off guard! Death 13 has locked your spirits in that defenseless state, so your Stands won’t be able to manifest!
Cascada: Good thing I have my burlap sack of two dozen bazookas that I looted from Joey’s mansion!
Baby: Wait, no, uh… UHHH…
How’s Cascada going to blast her way out of this one, folks?
Joseph: I thought the plan was that you wake us up?
Kakyoin: It’s MY turn to save the day! I haven’t gotten a chance since the Hanged Man!
Polnareff: Bullshit! You got Lovers and you helped with The Sun!
Kakyoin: Just let me have this! I’m still furious about that Dragon Quest cartridge!
Jotaro: What about Dio’s other minions?
Baby: Rrrgh… L-let me go!!
Kakyoin: Quit struggling. You can’t hit me with your scythe in this position. Even if you’re just a baby… I’ll still break your neck if you don’t stop resisting…!
Joseph: Kakyoin!
Cascada: It’s okay, he can probably do it even with his spindly arms!
Cascada: Hey!
Polnareff: I STILL don’t understand why you make us fight those will-o-wisps for two hours every time we stop in town. You being crazy is the only explanation!
Kakyoin: Don’t mention it, Polnareff. It wasn’t for naught.
Baby: (H-he’s not twisting my neck off because I’m a baby… What a fool! Kakyoin… Your naivete will be the death of you! you’re still in my nightmare world!)
Baby: Haven’t you realized!? My Stand has no body! It’s just a head, arms, and a scythe! Man, you guys are dumb! Hee hee hee hee hee!!
Baby: !?
Kakyoin: Look closer… My Stand wasn’t just clinging to its back for the hell of it.
Baby: H-he wasn’t cut apart at all! He’s turning into a ribbon and entering my ear! Aaaaaaauuughhh!! It’s going iiinnnnn!!
Kakyoin: I’ve been practicing my ear-entering technique ever since Karachi!
Kakyoin: You’re not a good listener, are you? My Hierophant can stretch indefinitely… That’s why I was saying you couldn’t hit me with your scythe! Now… If you have any attachment to your guts, then heal this wound on my arm. …You said you could do ANYTHING in the dream world, right? This can’t be that hard.
Baby: …No thanks! Rally-ho!
Kakyoin: ! What did you say!?
Baby: That wasn’t me you entered at all, dumbass!
Baby: Rally-ho!! Time for the final round! Come and get it, Kakyoin!!
Cascada: Sorry to keep you waiting… Maybe I can be of assistance.
Baby: !! …W-what now!?
Cascada: The charm Kakyoin gave me earlier really was magic. Look at the incantation. “Bring your Stand out before you sleep and keep it hidden…” That’s what it says!
Baby: Y-you’ve gotta be kidding me!!
Kakyoin: Time to pay your dues, Death 13!
Now, you might ask how this works when Quicksilver is a big ol’ arm cannon, but allow me to direct you back to Update 3:
Quicksilver is clearly visible as a separate sprite here, so Cascada was probably hiding it under her clothes or something in the nightmare. Not that it makes any difference in the event; I’m pretty sure it goes the same no matter how obvious your Stand might be normally.
I really like the “it can be detached if necessary” bit, even though it never comes up in earnest. I could totally imagine a situation where Cascada secretly sets it up at a different angle and fires a remote blast.
If you believe Kakyoin’s story, he fights Death 13 solo. If you get the Charm, then it’s this 2v2 situation. If you elect not to believe him, things just go according to the manga where Kakyoin wins anyway… but the game actually gives you the option to skip the whole event, which is a privilege normally reserved for NG+.
We’re pretty overleveled after I took everyone through Joey’s mansion. The fight isn’t much to write home about, but we do want to make sure we kill Fake Star Platinum for its item drop.
Death 13 is highly susceptible to Kakyoin’s status-inducing moves, so it’d probably be an easy win even if I didn’t grind in Karachi.
That Starplatodine from Fake Star Platinum is a Speed-boosting permanent stat buff item. We’ve actually accumulated quite a few boosters; I should probably just use them instead of grinding all the time.
Joseph: Me too… A really awful one. I just can’t remember…
Polnareff: Ah! Kakyoin! A-are you feeling okay?
Kakyoin: What do you mean?
Kakyoin: What? Are you still feeling drowsy? Get your head in the game, Polnareff! Anyhow, it’s time to change the baby…
Cascada: -whispering- I’m surprised you aren’t rubbing it in that you were right.
Kakyoin: -whispering- It’s much more fun to gaslight him.
Cascada: -whispering- …I can’t believe I let you talk me into doing this TWICE…
Baby: …Urk…
Kakyoin: Seems like only The Machine and I remember. I suppose it’s because we brought our Stands into the dream… Well, what can you do? You’re a baby, so it’s not like I can maim you. We’ll just take you to the next town over. Your mother ought to be around somewhere…
So, I mean… this baby is already working as an assassin for Dio. Does that mean his mother is also in on it? She’d have to be, right?
Joseph: That’s great!! He didn’t eat anything last night, so he must be starving!
Baby: (No! Stop! Not that!)
Joseph: Are you gonna eat this time?
Baby: Mrgh… U… ugh! Mmmmghhh!!
Joseph: It’s tasty! Say aaah!
Baby: Mmmmmhhh!! Mmf! Mmf mmf!!
Joseph: My, my… Refusing to eat again? What’s gotten into you? If you’re this fussy as a child, imagine how you’re going to be as an adult! You have to eat!
Baby: Wah!
Polnareff: His mouth’s open!
Joseph: Here we go! See? I told you it was tasty!
My friend likes to bring up a thought experiment sometimes that she calls the “shit milkshake”. We all like a good milkshake, but whether by the cook’s intent or by the random chance of the universe, there is some amount of shit in your milkshake. The question is: how much shit are you willing to have in your milkshake before you no longer wish to consume it?
Or in more practical terms, how much proverbial shit are you willing to put up with in your media before you no longer want to engage with it? The threshold is, naturally, different for everyone; there are different kinds of shit, and some people pay good money for kopi luwak.
This one was not quite as long as the Justice update, but edging right up against it. I usually dismiss them as genre haters, but I’m starting to sympathize with the “too many cutscenes!” people… just a bit.
See you again!