You really do have to appreciate the special spritework being done for like one scene here.
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Yeah there’s a lot of bespoke one-off interactions and such all through the game, it’s real neat
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<= Previous | Top | =To Be Continued=>
Last time, Kakyoin threatened to kill a baby but settled for forcing it to eat its own shit. This time, we’re getting on another boat that definitely won’t crash and explode.
The manga has an aside here about how the Red Sea is clear and unspoiled, loved by scuba divers everywhere. I learned in elementary school that it’s called the Red Sea because of algae that sometimes gives the water a reddish color, but it’s only one possible name origin of many; the manga cites the color of the shores around it.
Another factoid is that the Red Sea is abundant with coral reefs (hence the scuba divers), which is considered unusual due to how hot and shallow it is compared to other parts of the ocean. It’s theorized that if global warming continues unchecked, the Red Sea might end up with the only surviving coral reefs on Earth.
Jotaro: We’re supposed to be heading west, towards Egypt. why are we heading towards that little island?
Joseph: Ah… Well, you see… There’s a reason for that. I didn’t mention it before, but there’s someone we need to visit before we reach Egypt.
Polnareff: Is it to get insurance for when this boat inevitably gets destroyed?
Kakyoin: I don’t think any policy would cover enemy Stand attacks.
Joseph: There’s a man there who is integral to our journey…
Polnareff: Someone integral to our journey…? On that tiny island?
Joseph: Yes, there’s precisely one person here. He told me as much when I saw him in India.
Kakyoin: What? You saw him in India? Who are you talking about?
The official translations for Part 3 go for a similar pun here. Joseph says, “He told me while we were hurrying through India,” and Polnareff says, “Currying through India?” In Japanese, Joseph refers to the person on this island with the pronoun “彼” (pronounced “ka-re”), which Polnareff mishears as “curry” (pronounced “ka rē” in Japanese).
Thanks for making me spend 15 minutes researching a pun with zero bearing on the story, ADHD brain.
Joseph: Looks can be deceiving… I saw someone in Varanasi who looked exactly like you from behind, but their face was completely different! And in Karachi…
Cascada: We’re not going to talk about that.
Joseph: …sorry.
Polnareff: I found him! Over there!!
In grand JoJo tradition, these chickens are named after influential musicians: Michael Jackson, Prince, and Lionel Richie.
Polnareff: Who are you!?
Kakyoin: That silhouette… Could it be!?
Joseph: Wait! I’ll go talk to him. You guys stay right here.
Polnareff: Ab…
Cascada: A-Abdul…!?
Kakyoin: Mr. Abdul!
Jotaro: Abdul…
Cascada: Maybe we should’ve all just said it at once? Just saying.
Polnareff: I-is that really him!?
Joseph: Even though “hermit” is MY Stand!
I feel like this is an oddly rare plot point, if only because when characters die their loved ones or next of kin are usually just the other main characters. About the only other example I can come up with off the top of my head is the one-off gag in Dragon Ball where Chichi faints after being told Goku’s dead and Piccolo’s taken Gohan.
Joseph: I didn’t want to tell you about him before because I didn’t want to tip Dio off that he was staying here.
Kakyoin: His father, huh…
Cascada: …
Kakyoin: If only it was his mother instead…
Joseph: But… explaining the circumstances of his son’s death… won’t be easy.
Jotaro: Hol Horse is still out there, too.
Polnareff: …
Kakyoin: Does his father have a Stand as well?
Joseph: Yes… But what kind of Stand it is, I don’t know.
Cascada: By my count, there are only four Tarot cards remaining, so…
Joseph: Shhh!
Kakyoin: I doubt he’s going to be willing to cooperate with us…
Joseph: Just let me handle it. I’ll go and try talking to him.
We fade out… and back in.
In the manga the lamp is buried in the sand, so it doesn’t look quite as ridiculous as Polnareff monologuing while sitting directly next to it.
I find it kind of fascinating how because this game’s graphics are obviously stylized, we implicitly understand that this lamp sprite - well, any sprite - is not to scale. There’s probably some kind of name for that effect.
I will not make the stock joke, I will not…
Solid use of the “explosion” effect. If this game were more recent they’d probably use the stock Game Maker explosion for the same gag.
I had it in my head this was a “Oh, Araki watched Disney’s Aladdin and decided to put that in the manga” situation, but Part 3 ran from April 1989 to April 1992. Disney’s Aladdin didn’t release until November '92.
Polnareff: T-the hell are you supposed to be!?
Cameo: My name is Cameo! I’d like to reward you for freeing me from the lamp. State your wishes, and I will grant them!
I didn’t screenshot it yet, but when you use a Badge of Honor, Cameo appearing is one of the random options. This is usually a good get because he lets you choose directly from a submenu rather than just rolling the dice.
This is possibly the smartest Polnareff has been the entire trip. If I were the 7th Stand User, I’d obviously assume anything weird going on is the work of an enemy Stand. Like the whole baby thing.
We get the “slash” effect here and the screen shakes.
Cameo: Is the answer to that question your first wish? You sure you want a wish that boring?
Polnareff: Again with that “3 wishes” crap!? Can you make me rich right now, then!? Well!?
Cameo: That’s your first wish?
Polnareff: Yeah, if you can pull it off! Otherwise, stop screwing with me!
Cameo: Understood. Your wish is granted.
As is often the case with English words in JoJo, the manga has this catchphrase drawn out in the text box rather than as the usual typed text. Like so:
Cameo vanishes with the stock explosion effect once again.
Aaaand of course Polnareff immediately drops the assumption that it was the work of an enemy Stand. It was nice while it lasted.
Polnareff: As a Frenchman myself, I can instantly validate its authenticity!
Polnareff: A-are you trying to mess with me!? What’s your deal!?
Cameo: You have 2 more wishes. State them!
Polnareff: !! I-it’s you! What are you trying to pull!? There has to be some trick to this!! If you’re an enemy, then just fight me! I’m gonna keep this gold, too!!
Something I always appreciated about the Eternal Dragon in Dragon Ball is that he’s never an asshole about the wishes. You don’t have to deal with any of this exact words bullshit, Shenron just grants the wish according to its intent and he’ll straight up tell you if there’s gonna be some kind of catch or if it would be a wasted wish. What a cool dude.
Polnareff: I’ve wanted to become one since I was a kid! I wanna be more famous than Disney! I want them to build a Polnareff Land!
I took an out-of-state friend to Disneyland a few years ago after having not been there since I was a kid. My main memory of the trip was when I passed a worker in the Star Wars Zone and said “good morning” in an attempt to acknowledge the service staff as human beings.
With zero hesitation, he responded with, “We say ‘Bright Suns’ here on Batuu!”
Cameo: A girl? Fine.
Polnareff: No… No, wait! Wait just a second!
Cameo: Is having me wait for one second your next wish?
Polnareff: Stop asking me that!
Cameo: Is having me no longer asking about your next wish your next wish?
Polnareff: …Can you bring the dead back to life?
Polnareff: If you can do it… Which you can’t! Heh!
Cameo: Okay. Your wish is granted.
Polnareff: What!?
Cameo: However, you stated 2 wishes. After this, you’ll have none left. First, I’ll grant your 2nd…
Polnareff: Wait, wait, wait! W-what are you!? What’s your ulterior motive!? …W-what was that sound…? It sounded like… something emerging from the ground somewhere… It… it can’t be!
Polnareff: !! It can’t be! It can’t be true! My sister was buried in France!! Hey! Who are you!? What’s your name!? Answer me!
We fade out to another area. I do think it’s pretty neat that the whole previous segment was on a single map, with all the relevant props just off camera.
Polnareff: There you are! Please don’t run away… It’s me! Your older brother!
Polnareff: Sometimes I forget because everyone addresses me by surname, but it’s me! Jean Pierre!
Polnareff: Why are you crying? What is there to be sad about? It’s you! Sherry!! Aahh… It really is you!
Polnareff: …Oh! I was mad at you then, but I’ve always loved you! I still do!
Polnareff: And I made damn sure to put that cat to sleep after your funeral, so it’s water under the bridge!
Has wishing the dead back to life ever worked out, in anything? Okay, I mean, besides Dragon Ball. Come on.
…I think that’s the third time I’ve referenced Dragon Ball this update…
i’m always saying this
I’d put down a non-zero number of dollars that some kind of variation of “My Little Sister Is A Zombie Who Also Wants To Eat Me” is either already a manga or is trending on Pixiv.
Polnareff: -pant, pant, pant, pant, pant-… C-cameooooo!!
Cameo: Whaddya want…?
Polnareff: Y-you son of a bitch!!
Cameo: What, is there a problem?
The way Baldur’s Gate handled DnD’s infamous Wish spell is that upon cast, a genie appeared and offered you a selection from five random options (since you obviously couldn’t dictate a specific wish to a human DM). The rub was that the choice pool was determined by the caster’s Wisdom stat. Most wizards stick purely to Intelligence, so it was possible to pick something that seemed innocuous and get screwed over. For example, a low-WIS wish for something like “more experience points” might just drop a bunch of high level (and thus, high experience yield) enemies right on your head.
Cameo: Mmmmmmm… No thanks!
Polnareff: What!?
Cameo: Do you not get it yet? I’m a Stand!
Polnareff: Damn it! I knew I forgot something!
Cameo: I’m the Stand of the Judgment arcanum! I can grant people’s wishes using the earth! You wished for your sister! She’s your problem now!
Polnareff: B-bastard!!
Cameo: The things hidden in the depths of one’s heart are their greatest weaknesses! When someone they love dies, they don’t think about whether reviving them is possible… they still expect them to pop in someday and say “hello”! I’ve already won this match, Polnareff!
Polnareff: (A-aa-aaaahhh… I was so scared that I forgot to bring out my Chariot… But I also forgot that it’s a Stand that grants my wishes… Maybe…) Silver Chariot!!
This feels like a weird line to me. The official manga translation says, “I was being attacked by my wishes so I forgot to summon my own Stand…”
Polnareff: What!?
Cameo: You beg me, Polnareff? Really? Well, in that case… Hmmm… Nope, too bad! You don’t have any wishes left! I already granted 3! You don’t get a 4th one! Heh heh heh!!
This is a brief setpiece rather than an actual battle. By the time the status wears off and you can take actions, it ends by itself.
Polnareff: …So this is truly the end for me… Sorry to part so soon, Mr. Joestar… Kakyoin… Jotaro… Cascada… I wish you luck…
Polnareff: You idiots will need it, without me there…
Polnareff: I sure as hell thought so!! Mohammed Abdul!!!
I sincerely doubt anyone reading this Let’s Play didn’t already know this twist, but if you didn’t, then hey!
Abdul: You haven’t changed a bit, Polnareff… You’re still always “Sherry” this, “Sherry” that! Seems like you need my help… Hm hm! You’re so dependent! I can’t die in peace with you around…
Cameo: This can’t be! There’s no way you’re still alive! Hol Horse said you took a bullet right through the brain!
Abdul: You’re correct! I was shot in between the eyebrows… But when I was stabbed, I craned my neck to look upwards! Since I was leaning back… It never reached my brain! It just scratched my skin! I did completely lose consciousness, but I made the best of it…
Bit of a translation gaffe here. I, a monolingual jackass, would have probably put “Hol Horse shot you right between the eyes!”
Polnareff: My… My 3rd wish… It really did come true…!!
Polnareff: Maybe this Cameo guy really is a genie, and not a Stand!
Abdul: -sigh-
Polnareff: (That’s right! I have to tell everyone!)
Cameo: …That is some terrible news… But by the time I tell them, it’ll already be irrelevant… Instead, I’ll tell them about how Cameo beat the snot out of that asshole Polnareff and the still-living Abdul! Oh, what wonderful news!
Abdul: Nnngghhh! He’s defending with the clones!
Cameo: HAIL 2 U!
Polnareff: B-bastard! Even if it’s just a fake, that’s still my sister! How dare he!
In the manga, this is the last we see of the Sherry clone. The anime includes a short scene where Polnareff puts her down himself, accepting his sister is truly dead. It’s got a bunch of cool little hindsight additions like that.
Abdul: H-he’s quite a powerful opponent…
Polnareff: Be careful! He’s not just strong, but fast, too!
Abdul: This is putting quite the damper on my big comeback…
Cameo: Huhuhuhuhuhu…
Abdul: …
Cameo: C’mon! Try it! You have 3 wishes!
Polnareff: H-he’s just toying with us…
Cameo: Y-you make a joke of this…!
Abdul: Do you refuse, Cameo!? You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep!
Cameo: Wishing for more wishes is problematic! You’re being insensitive!
Polnareff: Maybe you shouldn’t act so stereotypical!
Abdul: Trust me, Polnareff… you do not want to go down this road…
Now this one is an actual fight. It’s Abdul solo against Cameo, but our guy has made sure to keep up with his level grinding while the rest of the crew was away. He’s up around level 28 just like the rest.
Pushover.
Abdul: My first wish is for you to scream in pain! Sounds like that one’s already come true…
Cameo: I-impossible! He’s too strong! Much stronger than before!!
Abdul: My wound from the Hanged Man isn’t completely healed, so I couldn’t go all out. I was only able to leave India about 3 days ago…
We’re currently on Day 18, and the business in Kolkata was Day 9. Healing from a stab wound and bullet graze in 5-6 days is pretty good pace, I think. If we were on manga pace, this would be something around Day 30. Cascada’s making good time.
Abdul: I wish for you to yelp in fear! Now, for my third wish…! I wish to hear your cries of regret!
Cameo: Yeeeeeeeeeeeep!!
Abdul: Damn!
Polnareff: H-he got away! Stop right there, asswipe!!
Abdul: Ssh! Keep it down, Polnareff. With that power and speed, the user must be close by. That’s the rule! He must be very, very close indeed… But where…?
Starting here, we finally get control back for a few minutes. Let’s check in on Abdul.
It’s nice to have a proper nuker mage around again, though I suppose Cascada counts for that role. She wishes she had 362 SP, though.
The gimmick here is that we’re searching for Cameo’s user, hidden somewhere in the grass on this map. He persistently chases you, but with both Abdul and Polnareff on battle duty he’s a non-issue.
Cameo despawns every time you defeat him and respawns near the user’s location. You can also tell because it’s a solid interactable tile, so combing every row is doable if a bit tedious.
Polnareff: (So he’s hiding under the ground!! Damn you… How should I make you pay for using my sister!? HELL 2 U!) Let’s put stuff in the pipe!
Polnareff: You think I’m done with you!?
Abdul: Hey, Polnareff. Don’t we have other matters to attend to? Since it’s been a while, let’s do “that” together as proof of our friendship!
Polnareff: “That”? Do you mean combining?
Abdul: No, the other thing.
Polnareff: Oh, “THAT”. I crouch behind him and you push?
Abdul: …No, I mean… “that”.
Polnareff: We draw silly faces on him while he sleeps?
Abdul: Polnareff, this man disrespected the memory of your precious sister.
Polnareff: Oh, “THAT”!
I don’t think I’ve ever done communal pissing in the great outdoors. More proof I have not experienced true culture.
Abdul: Not so fast! For my 4th wish… I wish for your wish to never come true! My Magician’s Red will make sure of that!
The screen fades out as Cameo’s user burns alive…
Joseph: Polnareff! We were worried about you!
Kakyoin: Where’d you get those wounds?
Jotaro: Did you get attacked by an enemy?
Polnareff: Forget about my injuries for a second! You’re not gonna believe this, guys! Get ready… Guess who it is!?
All: ??
Jotaro: Yo, Abdul.
Kakyoin: How’ve you been?
Cascada: Is your back feeling any better?
Abdul: It’s getting there. There’s just a little scarring.
Joseph: How was your trip back from India?
Abdul: The enemy was none the wiser. I didn’t run into a single one.
Jotaro: It’s been a pretty long time. I’m glad you made it back safe.
Kakyoin: It’s only been about a week and a half.
Cascada: Feels more like a few months to me…
Abdul: You’re still wearing that uniform, Jotaro? Aren’t you hot? Hm hm…
The entire party - including Cascada - has been gaslighting Polnareff into thinking he was responsible for his friend’s death! Definitely a cool and okay thing to do!
Polnareff: Even you, Kakyoin!?
Kakyoin: I was actually the one who first suggested to keep it a secret… Since you have a tendency to run your mouth.
Polnareff: Et tu, Cascada!?
Cascada: Honestly, I thought you knew and were just playing along.
Jotaro: If you tipped the enemy off, Abdul wouldn’t be able to heal in peace.
Joseph: We needed to buy something without the enemy knowing.
Abdul: Something that would attract a lot of attention. I posed as a rich Arabian man and bought it.
Polnareff: What do you mean?
Abdul: I will tell you all about it on the way. EVERY detail.
Joseph: All abooooooard!!
Jotaro: So this is how we’re crossing the Red Sea?
Kakyoin: We should be able to evade the enemy’s sight this way…
Polnareff: Man, this is turning out to be an expensive trip! Abdul, do you know how to operate this thing!?
Joseph: Don’t forget about me!
Cascada: I’d rather Abdul take the wheel.
Jotaro: You’ve lost your privileges after what happened last time, Gramps.
Joseph: I didn’t peek on my naked mother in the bath during the war to take lip from you kids.
Kakyoin: Tell me more…
Abdul: I see none of you have changed a bit!
See you again!
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<= Previous | Top | =To Be Continued=>
Last time, it turned out Abdul was alive all along and we were just gaslighting Polnareff for two weeks. This time, we’re taking a submarine!
We’ve had three mandatory story bits in a row without a chance to restock, so this is a nice get.
Polnareff: Hey, hurry up and make the coffee! I’m thirsty!
Kakyoin: Make it yourself!
Cascada: What kind of coffee is this thing stocked with anyway? My house mostly uses instant, so I don’t know much.
Jotaro: -frown- …Instant…?
Cascada: We ain’t all made of money, Jojo.
Joseph: Everywhere we’ve been so far has had their own way of preparing it. It’s so different from American coffee!
Abdul: Hmhm… I can teach you to use a dallah another time.
My weird coffee trivia here is that something like 95% of all Jamaican Blue Mountain is exported to Japan. It makes a damn fine cup of coffee.
On the manga’s pace, we’d flip the numbers and have only 19 days left. Having an extra party member really boosted the group’s action economy.
Joseph: There’s no time to waste. We’ve reached Egypt not a day too soon. We’ll have to hurry to Aswan and seek out the enemy as quickly as we can.
Polnareff: This might be the last time we get to kick back and enjoy a hot cup of coffee like this…
Cascada: So it’s the last stretch…
Polnareff: What’s left?
Abdul: I am sure you’ll find out soon enough…
Polnareff: You sure you didn’t just forget?
Abdul: It is called SUSPENSE!
A lot of information packed into one text box there. I’m impressed.
Kakyoin: Wha… Mr. Joestar!
Jotaro: What!? G-gramps!!
Cascada: Mr. Joestar!!
Abdul: Impossible! It’s a Stand! How did a Stand enter the submarine!?
Jotaro: No, that’s wrong!
Abdul: It transformed! It turned into one of the meters on the control panel! Just like the coffee cup!
Kakyoin: (It’s so nice to have someone else on exposition duty…)
Cascada: A transforming Stand…!?
Polnareff: Damn! Just 300 feet away from Egypt!
Cascada: Kakyoin, how’s Mr. Joestar!?
Abdul: There, Polnareff! Happy!?
Polnareff: I still say you should have just told me in the first place!
Jotaro: What do you know about it?
Abdul: I’ve heard stories… The user’s name is Midler.
I feel like “controlling inorganic matter” is one of those powers that would be way more interesting if it showed up in a later JoJo part rather than the slugfest section of Part 3. You just know Araki would get up to some shit.
Polnareff: …That… that makes sense… She just opened a hole and got in, plain and simple.
Cascada: We’re gonna sink if this keeps up!
Abdul: She broke the floatation mechanism! And the oxygen levels are decreasing! We’re going down! Everyone grab onto something! We’re gonna crash into the seafloor!
Cascada: That cable car in Singapore didn’t break.
Polnareff: That doesn’t count, I wasn’t there!
Kakyoin: Maybe YOU’RE the weak link, Polnareff…
Honestly this thing just reminds me of the mascot for Honeycomb cereal, which is upsetting not just because the mascot is upsetting but because I still remember completely useless information like this.
The Machine ain’t afraid of a fucked up little cereal monster. Time to start blasting.
Abdul: What are you doing, Cascada!? Hurry up and take shelter!
Cascada: Think about it, Abdul! The closer we get to the surface, the closer we get to its user… And the stronger it gets! If we try to fight it at full strength, the situation may get even worse! There’s still some time left before the oxygen runs out… Let’s take care of it before we leave the submarine!
Abdul: Don’t be stupid! We still don’t know where the user is hiding yet! And that said, if I use my flames, I’ll burn up whatever oxygen there is left! Do you plan to defeat it with just 4 people!?
Cascada: You really have been out of the loop… we’ve been getting almost everything done with only two people.
Abdul: Oh. In that case… carry on, my lily-white friends.
Kakyoin: We can’t do anything to her until we find out where she’s hiding! Be careful!
And we’ve got another one of those “the boss might just decide to be literally untargetable for an indefinite period of time” battles. At least CantFind status is barely an issue since everyone’s got some decent all-target attacks now.
Choosing to fight High Priestess right now gives Jotaro this new skill. It’s pretty situational, but this is the situation to use it in. When she appears, he’ll be ready with a big single-target OraOra.
Yep, still pretty much zero point in attacking at all if she isn’t on the screen. You’re basically gambling that she’ll appear that turn and you’ll get a hit in.
This move has a solid chance of inflicting Blowback status and making High Priestess lose a turn from crashing into the wall. I think it got off one attack.
Abdul: You did it!
Joseph: Looks… like it…
Cascada: That’s, uh… that’s it?
Kakyoin: C’mon! Let’s hurry and get out of here!
Abdul: That’s Midler… High Priestess’s user.
Kakyoin: What should we do? I doubt she can fight anymore…
Polnareff: I’m gonna go see if she’s good-looking…
Cascada: And I’ll keep my gun trained on you so you don’t try anything.
Polnareff: I-I would never! A-hahahaahh…
Joseph: Well, Polnareff?
Time for a trivia detour! Midler was only ever seen from a distance in the manga and had no distinguishing features. When Capcom put out their JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure fighting game in 1998 (released westward as JoJo’s Venture), they asked Araki to make a whole new design for her.
The left is her only appearance in the original, and the right is her fighting game design. You can decide for yourself if Polnareff’s got good taste.
That was fast. Maybe a little too fast! All we got out of it was a Starplatodine, which increases speed, and we clearly have no need for that. Roll it back!
Cascada: We need to make sure Mr. Joestar is okay first.
Kakyoin: I’ve got him!
Abdul: (T-this thing even cut through Mr. Joestar’s steel prosthetic… If I don’t let go…!)
Jotaro: ORA!!
Jotaro: Aye aye, sir…
Both: Too soon!
Jotaro: W-what the hell!?
Abdul: She’s no slouch!
Joseph: You’ve… got that right…
Kakyoin: She even gave Jotaro a handful… This isn’t gonna be easy…
The scene fades to black as the party books it to the other room.
Kakyoin: What are we gonna do!? She’s gotta get in here sooner or later! Feels like we’re the ones who are trapped…
Abdul: This place is full of machinery… That means she has a tactical advantage! We have to ditch the submarine! There’s no other choice! We’ll swim to Egypt if we have to!
Joseph: I was hoping to resell it, too…
Polnareff: Are you kidding!? We’re 130 feet under the sea! Sure, it’s not THAT deep, but how’ll we make it to the surface!?
Jotaro: Give me a break.
Joseph: It’s tough to put on with one hand… Does anyone here know how to scuba dive?
Cascada: Do YOU?
Joseph: I’m an old rich white man. If anyone here knows, it’s me!
Cascada: I’m not hearing a “yes”.
Polnareff: Nope.
Jotaro: Nah.
Kakyoin: I do not.
Cascada: Same here.
Some cursory research tells me that protocols to avoid decompression sickness are pretty complex. A reasonably-agreed-upon rate of ascent is about 30 feet (9 meters) per minute for any dives up to 1000 feet (300 meters). If you’re any deeper, you’re going to want to ascend even more slowly. You also ideally want access to a decompression chamber on the surface if possible.
A proposed but as-of-yet impractical method to avoid decompression problems is “liquid breathing”, where oxygen is supplied directly to the bloodstream via filling the lungs with an oxygen-rich fluid. It famously shows up in James Cameron’s The Abyss and in Neon Genesis Evangelion.
JoJo has a reputation for this kind of writing, where it feels like Araki maybe read a book about something last week and decided to throw all that information into the manga just because he thought it was neat.
Polnareff: What if you drool?
Joseph: That also comes out the left side. Also, we can’t talk in the water, of course… We’ll communicate with hand signals.
Abdul: Can’t we just talk with our Stands?
Joseph: Oh? You’re right, I forgot…
Cascada: My Stand is a gun and Mr. Joestar’s is a bundle of vines.
Joseph: Eh, we’ll figure it out.
Polnareff: I know a hand signal!
I’m obligated to include the anime’s incredible depiction of this scene here:
All: OK.
Jotaro: S-shit!!
Abdul: She’s in! He’ll be torn apart!!
Cascada: What do we do!?
Joseph: Hermit Purple!!
Kakyoin: Hierophant Green!!
Rough day for Polnareff. Finds out his friends have been gaslighting him for two weeks and then has an evil cereal mascot climb down his throat.
Polnareff: H-hey… Wait! Ack!!
Joseph: I caught her before she got close to his throat, Kakyoin!
Kakyoin: Me too! Let’s force her out before she transforms!
The scene fades to black as metal clanks and tears, but the squad makes it out.
Cascada: Good thing we killed that Dark Blue Moon guy.
Jotaro: Yeah.
Cascada: Just 30 feet left to the surface…
The Red Sea sure has some wacky-looking coral reefs.
Joseph: Still, everyone keep a lookout… She might try to follow us as a propeller. Keep and eye out for moving rocks or pebbles.
Abdul: Look, everyone! The tunnel!
Joseph: That means there’s just 20 meters left…
Abdul: We’re finally at the Egyptian coast! Let’s swim along this rock until we reach land!
Abdul: How did it get this big!?
Polnareff: It’s been so tiny up until now!! Where is this strength coming from!?
Kakyoin: For the Stand to be this size, the user has to be somewhere extremely close!
Midler: You got that right! Just 20 feet above you, in fact! Unfortunately, I’ll crunch you up in my High Priestess’ mouth before you get a chance to even see what I look like!
Did you expect JoJo to have “inorganic gigantism vore” as a tag?
Kakyoin: Where inside her body are we?
Joseph: We’re still in her mouth… She hasn’t swallowed us yet.
Cascada: I could get absorbing, but it’d probably take too long for Quicksilver to eat through this.
Midler: Jotaro!
Jotaro: !
Jotaro: Give me a break… Do I really have to say it?
Polnareff: Yes! C’mon, go!
There’s a few unique interactions here depending on how high your FP is. If you’re playing as a male character, he’ll butt in with quips for each guy. Female player characters instead get jealous they aren’t being complimented, because of course that’s what they’d write in.
Regardless of that, The Machine must play her part in this hare-brained scheme.
7SU is now yuri.
Polnareff: Yeep!
Kakyoin: Wh… what is THAT?
Joseph: It’s a tongue! Her Stand’s tongue!
Abdul: Watch out! Get out of the way!
Jotaro: Augh!!
Joseph: J-Jotaro!
Cascada: The tongue sent him flying!
The first thing related to JoJo that I remember seeing was a blurb for the aforementioned fighting game in a random issue of GamePro magazine (I wasn’t subscribed or anything, sometimes you just accumulate random shit). I remember Polnareff’s wacky hairdo and a screenshot of Midler’s ultimate attack, where she crushes the opponent in-between giant teeth just like this.
Kakyoin: N-no…
Jotaro: So… powerful…
Midler: My teeth are hard as diamonds, Jotaro! I’ll crunch you to bits!
Abdul: We have to help him!
Joseph: Pull him out!
Jotaro: Did someone say “pull it out”?
Cascada: NO!
As much as Jotaro would probably prefer we pull him out, that’s the boring manga route. Cascada’s got a gun and she isn’t afraid to use it.
This fight is Cascada, Kakyoin, Abdul, and Polnareff up against The Teeth. The game doesn’t tell you that the Teeth recover each turn and there’s a 5-turn limit before the battle just ends and the event proceeds as normal. Time to start blasting!
The Teeth have enormous Defense, showing that Midler has impeccable dental hygiene. Cascada and Abdul (despite the above screenshot) do most of the work here with magic attacks.
Joseph: Are you all right, Jotaro!?
Jotaro: Yeah, somehow… Everyone, let’s make a break for it! We’ll break through the other teeth!!
A Badge of Honor beats out a stat-increaser any day of the week, and it’s not like I would have ever used Penetrating Glare again. Definitely the preferable option here.
And we’ve circled back around. Is Midler still hot?
Well, maybe not so preferable.
Joseph: Nevertheless… We’ve finally reached Egypt.
Abdul: It’s only 20 hours away by jet… Yet it took us 19 days!
Kakyoin: This journey sure has taken us places… The desert, the seafloor… Even inside the brain!
Polnareff: It’s a miracle we made it here alive!
Cascada: You all would have been completely screwed without me.
Jotaro: …
And with that, we’re approximately halfway through the game! There’s a clear divide between the “Tarot Assassins” portion of Part 3 and the “we finally made it to Egypt” part, even in the manga. The anime cut right here to take a season break, so I’ll be following suit and taking a while off to build a bit more buffer and deal with some real life stuff.
See you again! Eventually!
<= Previous | Top | =To Be Continued=>
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I do appreciate that the game just like, lets you brute force past episode-long plot beats because fuck it, why not.
the “if i was there i would simply shoot the villain” fantasy
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Everyone loves that one Indiana Jones scene.