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Last time, Polnareff killed a member of a critically endangered species by running it through with a sword, thus setting us adrift once more upon the sea until a non-ghost ship picked us up and brought us to Singapore.
Polnareff: So this is Singapore…
Kakyoin: It seems a smidge, er, dark…
Joseph: There could still be enemies lying in wait… We should explore in groups of two again. I’ve handed a memo with all your room numbers to that girl. There could even be enemies in the hotel, so check your room thoroughly before you sleep!
Since he’s still at the bottom of the FP ranks (and because I know the plot), we’re sticking with Polnareff for the second update in a row. He’s not my favorite party member, but a Badge of Honor later (much later) is contingent on him winning an incredibly difficult solo fight, so I’m not complaining.
The “Runaway Girl” straight up didn’t have a name until the 2014 anime… where it’s never actually spoken, just written in production materials. She’s “Merlai Anne”, a riff on Singapore’s mascot, the Merlion.
Polnareff: So, are Abdul and Monsieur Joestar…
Cascada: Not my business.
Polnareff: Ahem, oui…
Cascada: But we can ask my magic radio if you REALLY want to know.
Polnareff: Pardon, your what?
Steel: So you’ve finally made it to Singapore. I can sense the presence of Stand users here as well… Be very careful. I feel two Stand users with evil intent in the hotel… And 2 to 3 more in the city itself. You ought to stay away from the shadows of buildings. Lurking within those shadows are fearsome enemies who detest the light…
Polnareff: …I don’t hear anything.
Cascada: steel you son of a bitch
What an oddly specific tutorial message that I’m sure has no bearing on our current situation.
We go to drop off our luggage as our French pal suggested.
It’s got a full kitchenette and everything. I think I can count the number of times I’ve actually used a hotel room’s kitchenette on one hand, but I haven’t traveled much in the past fifteen years.
Polnareff spots something just a bit off about the room.
Cascada: What’s wrong? Is it [INSERT STOCK FRENCH JOKE HERE]?
Polnareff: …Man. Just when I thought we might get a break for once… All right, come on out!
A goth comes out of the refrigerator! As they oft do!
Cascada: !? How’d he fit in that thing?
Polnareff: You look angry. Why don’t you tell me your name before I kill you?
Polnareff: Why do you think? You took out everything in the fridge… and stacked them on the table!
I don’t think I’ve ever taken anything from a hotel room fridge. Presumably some poor employee has to take inventory of each one every day to see if some schmuck is okay paying $5 for a Snickers bar, which seems like it’d be a miserable job.
Cascada: Orangutan.
Polnareff: Whatever!
Polnareff: What’s with this guy…?
Polnareff: ! H-he’s gone!
Cascada: Polnareff… your foot!
We get a few beeps and boops as Polnareff dials the rest of the squad.
Polnareff: I couldn’t tell if he was a threat or not… He was totally incomprehensible. Creepy though… And he got away, damn it!
Abdul: Did he really say that his name was Devo? Devo, the user of the Devil card?
Polnareff: Oui, do you know him?
Abdul: Not at all, but I must keep my tarot checklist up to date. So, the Devil?
Polnareff: As far as I can remember, yes. I may have caught a glimpse of his Stand, too. He cut my leg without me noticing, so be careful! Gimme 5 minutes, and I’ll be right with you. Room 1212, right? Call Jotaro and Kakyoin while you’re at it!
Cascada: You gonna mention the broken window?
Polnareff: I prefer a cross-breeze while I sleep.
I’m not sure why this line warrants his full portrait. I probably would have at least gone for the bed sheets or my shirt or something, but I’m also not a Stand user or French.
Polnareff: ? …That’s weird. Where’s the room key? It was right here a second ago…
Polnareff: Tch, how’d it get under there? It must have gotten knocked over during the fight earlier…
Polnareff: What!? H-how did they…
Polnareff: Auuugh! It’s… it’s shampoo! Damn it, I can’t see!
Cascada: What’s going on!? Where’s the enemy!?
Polnareff: Help meeee!!!
Cascada: What the fuck is wrong with the beds here!?
Uh oh! An innocent bystander!
Polnareff: Don’t come in here! You’re in danger!
Polnareff: Get out! I told you, your life is in danger!!
Cascada: Get out!! It’s not safe here!
Wellp.
I don’t have too many snide comments to add here because sometimes (often) JoJo is insane enough as it is.
Polnareff: It’s… It’s a doll! this is…!!
Cascada: Ebony Devil!?
Cascada: Not a problem. Time for The Hose.
Polnareff is nominally in the battle here, but he takes several turns to free himself. Otherwise he’s a warm body to take hits in Cascada’s stead.
…Honestly, you can picture a lot of future fights going exactly like this.
This is a pretty hefty chunk of damage, and it’s only his first turn. Around four of these would be enough to KO Cascada.
Ebony Devil’s gimmick is that he’s a multi-stage boss fight; his stats scale depending on how much damage you’ve done and he’ll basically get a fresh health bar at certain intervals, which is why he doesn’t restore any HP in the above gif.
Cascada: You’re not only a refrigerator-hiding goth, you’re also a creepy pervert!
lol, lmao
This move might actually fuck you up. It does about 35-40 damage to the whole party, which isn’t too dire, but it can also paralyze. The game has zero qualms about stunlocking you to death if that’s how the dice roll.
By this point, we’re actually pretty low on HP and Polnareff has yet to free himself from the bondage-shampoo-bed trap (Devo would be great at Tecmo’s Deception). But you know how The Machine rolls by now.
Cascada: Glad you could finally join us, Polnareff.
Polnareff: You see zis hair!? Does it look like I usually get shampoo in my eyes!? I can’t deal with that!
Polnareff: I’ve got something to ask you. I’m looking for a man with two right hands… Tell me his Stand’s power!
Cascada: …you DID explain your whole Stand to Abdul and I DID kick your ass immediately afterwards…
Polnareff: TAIS-TOI!
Cascada: it’s true though
Polnareff: Fine!! You want more!?
Cascada: …and that’s why you always go for the nuts, kid. Give 'em a kick to the genitals.
Cascada: Jotaro can wait, I haven’t even had a chance to explore Singapore yet.
Steel: A Stand who can strengthen itself using the power of curses… What a terrifying enemy. …By the way, it seems someone has been searching for you… For what reason, I can’t say, but you should be careful. Once you’ve prepared, talk to the runaway girl in the hotel lobby so you can go and purchase tickets.
Cascada: I haven’t been on vacation for even a week and I’ve almost died a dozen times. This sucks.
We take a bit of time to explore the hotel.
Singapore’s barely one degree above the equator, so it’s hot and humid there year-long. Every building has the air-con running at full blast so when you take one step outside your glasses instantly fog up.
Cascada: I say bullshit; my Stand covers my hand so there’s no way I’d leave prints.
Polnareff: Hey! I’m the real victim here!
Polnareff: I got shampoo squirted in my eyes! It really stung!
Part 6 cameo spotted! Ask him the weather!
I think this is meant to also be a Part 6 cameo, but they’re also the wrong color scheme for whom I think it’s meant to be. Not sure.
Cascada: Oh yeah? I think Polnareff knows all about that.
Polnareff: -grumble-
One more floor to go.
Cascada: what
Polnareff: I LIKE zis floor! Time for puff-puff!
shit shit shit SHIT
We’ve gone from floating Matryoshka dolls to high school girls to bunny girls. It seems the user of Murderdolls is a huge creep (who knew?).
At least our adventures with Polnareff on the ship have powered him up enough that he can finish after only a single round of thrusting. The horde of bunny girls is summarily dispatched and we approach the man sitting at the table.
Wonder Festival is a long-running event in Japan for showcasing garage kits and anime figures.
Cascada: I will fucking END you.
Both this dialogue and Ebony Devil’s change depending on the order you fight them in. That said, fighting Joey here is totally optional; you don’t have to go to the 12th floor at all.
All three Murderdolls get resummoned at the start of every round, and Joey spends his turns either buffing the girls or trying to inflict status effects on the party.
You know, if he gets turns.
And once Joey’s below a certain HP threshold…
The fight’s as good as done at this point. The Murderdolls all get inflicted with Confuse status on summon and start attacking each other.
But the asshole can still do this! If an enemy changes distance and goes completely offscreen, then too bad for you. Your only choice is to wait until they reappear. Cascada must cease her energy beams and switch to defense for a few turns.
Polnareff: That’s how I want to go out… stepped on by a bunny girl…
Cascada: Do you really want to perv out in front of me RIGHT NOW?
Polnareff: Er, perhaps you’re right…
Cascada: …
Polnareff: …
Cascada: motherfuckingpieceofSHIT
On the bright side, we got a brand new attack!
Venom Cannon is expensive and only has a 75% hit rate, but it’ll wreck pretty much any non-boss encounter for the rest of the game.
All the Player Stands are frontloaded as hell; I’m not just saying that because we’re overleveled. Cascada’ll only learn two new abilities after this: at level 30 and level 45.
And here are our current FP standings. Remember, vote in the Best Bud poll (when this goes up, you’ll only have a day left)! See you next time for when we actually visit the new enormous hub map!